I'm sure many of you have thought I fell off the planet some where since my last blog. The truth is life has been extremely busy for me since the birth of my son Elijah, plus there are times I desire to keep my thoughts and feelings to myself.
Honestly, I wish I could jump off the planet right now, pull an "Elijah escape" and hide in a cave somewhere. So much has transpired since my last blog, of which all took me by suprise.
So here I sit, late Saturday night, everyone is asleep and I am left to contemplate life. For once I feel lost, no direction and presently no future. I am talking about my ministry life. I thought a 2 week vacation would help me gain some focus, but actually it ended up being a more stressful time for me.
Like Elijah, I wish to run and hide from everything, but I can't. Truth is God won't allow me, He won't release me from the calling He has placed on my life. Deep down I'm glad He hasn't because I love ministry to much to even imagine doing something else. But that doesn't change how I feel right now. Honestly, unlike Elijah, I really don't want the still small voice. I need the loud, I need the wind, the earthquake and the fire.
Lord, please speak to me, give me direction, set my feet on the path I need to walk to fulfill Your calling on my life. Take this hurting and lost man and use him once again to bring glory to Your Name. I am Yours, now and always!
PT
About Me
- PT Bigz
- I am the Senior Pastor of Life Christian Fellowship In Jensen Beach. Married to a wonderful woman of God, have 1 beautiful daughter and a cute little boy. The name ptbigz comes from my trip to Jamaica where the group of kids pictured above honored me with that name.
5 comments:
**hugs** we'll get through this I love you
I'm praying for you guys- hang in there- I know how difficult things can be. When I was at one of the lowest points in my life and ministry- God sent a Titus to me (II Corinthians 7:6). God comforts those who are cast down- you are going to make it- you will not fail.
I'm praying that the Lord will send a Titus your way- if I can be that man- don't hesitate to ask. Don't give up in Jesus' name!
Your friend
-Henry
Troy,
I can't begin to tell you how much I know how you feel. I've been to the place of desperation - knowing that God's calling is without repentance - but wishing I could just quit. It's the rock and the hard place that puts on the 'squeeze.'
The Hebrew word for distress is matsowq which, being translated, means 'a narrow place; a confinement or disability; or anguish.' It’s a place where you are so tightly wedged in – you can’t even lift your hands to praise Him – even if you wanted to.
I know that place well – I carved my initials into the wall at that place as if to say – I’ve been here – but never want to return. The greatest thing that pulled me through the roughest part of my ministry was to know – Jesus knew where I was!
God had not forgotten – and He wasn’t as surprised as I was that I was there. He knew a way out – He was the way out.
It was then that I was forced to choose to put all of my confidence in Him! I realize that sounds clich̩, but once I was determined, God became determined to get me out of the tight place. I know He will do that for you and Christa! Trust Him! Even when you see or feel nothing on the horizon Рsomething is there! Trust Him!
One verse of Scripture that has been my food for years since that event is Psalm 27:13 – “I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living.”
hey PT, Dave and I are praying for you and C, we know God has a work for ya'll and a place for you too...of course we can be selfish and hope it is closer to us...
~Cindy~
You're not lost, you just kdon't know where you are and cannot see what God is doing. He knows where you are and where you're going! Be Faithful. Be Still...and Listen! If you don't hear anything don't do anything, wait and see what the Lord will do in your life!
Easy said than done...I know!
You have good stuff inside of you, God will provide a place for it to be released.
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